by [email protected] | Oct 10, 2016 | Anxiety
Anxiety is our body’s way of getting our attention
- Name it: Anxiety?
“Just a little bit nervous” she said, holding about an inch of space between her thumb and index finger. “just not sleeping as well as I used to do. I used to be able to put my head on the pillow and have a great night sleep, but now… it’s not like that anymore. I wish it was. I have trouble concentrating, and sometimes can’t seem to control my anger. Every once in a while I find myself drinking a little more than I want, just so I can get a few hours of sleep without my thoughts racing around like little hamsters in a cage.”
Anxious symptoms can range from a little bit jumpy to unaccountable feelings of panic or terror. Sometimes there are good reasons to feel anxious – getting ready for a wedding, or preparing for an exam, or being chased by a bear. But if the symptoms last for too long and extend and interfere into other areas of your life, your good stress may now have a new name and can become a problem.
Many American’s struggle with symptoms of anxiety which can take 5-7 years to diagnose and treat, for they often can sneak up and manifest in headaches, stomach and gastrointestinal, TMJ and other physical symptoms. Often too substance abuse or addiction problems arise for by surprise when the methods used to just try and, cope with day to day living at a fast and sometimes overwhelming pace. The problems can arise when the solution itself no longer is a solution, but a problem itself.
Claim it:
Admit that there are times when the feelings you are having are anxious feelings. These can be: racing heart, pressure in the chest, agitated movements, trouble breathing and more. Try accept the feelings you are having, (see below under “Change it” ). Remember:. “what you resist persists”
If you think, “I can’t be anxious – my mother (father, brother, other) were always the anxious ones. I was the one everyone always came to. I’m the person who has always been the rock. How can this be happening to me?” you may be denying the reality of your current circumstances.
Too much stress, for too long, can lead to a phenomenon of an empty emotional gas tank.
Understanding that anxiety is “not just in your head” can help. When one experiences anxious symptoms they may have a sensation that their life is at imminent risk. even when it is not. The message of perceived risk is sent to the brain and adrenaline is then dumped into the nervous system (fight, flight or freeze) to support it taking measures of survival
Change it:
Anxiety is your body’s way of getting your attention. – Take a minute to turn off the phone, computer, music – and listen to what your body needs. Treat yourself like a beloved pet. Listen to your needs and make the time to meet them.
Get good sleep and exercise. Know your sleep and exercise needs
Drink enough water. In San Diego, we live in a semi-desert environment and need to stay hydrated. I have spoken to many people who have experienced panic attacks because of too little water, food or rest. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.
Build a strong support system. If family isn’t close find one of many excellent support groups in the community.
Drink caffeine early in the day and in moderation and monitor the quantity
Be aware of the impact of recreational substances. Something that chemically relaxes you (like alcohol), is a depressant, and depressants and depression can increase anxious feelings.
Increase your exercise – cross training can help
Make a gratitude list
Breathe. Here is a simple breathing technique I have been teaching to my clients for several years, it is called “4 part breathing”. Clients consistently report a decrease in anxious symptoms, including panic.
Draw a square, it should be the same size on each side and top:
Other resources to help you if anxiety is interfering in your daily sense of well-being:
Insight Timer APP has a playlist of guided meditations
BREATHE2RELAX APP, helps manage breathing to cope with anxious feelings and reduce the risk of hyperventilation. If you hyperventilate, carry brown bags with you to blow into.
www.ADAA.org, Anxiety and Depression Association of America (Anxiety and Depression are often linked)
www.dbtselfhelp.com
www.getselfhelp.co.uk
Multiple videos on YouTube by leaders in Anxiety treatment:
Steven Hayes teaches on managing anxiety with meditation and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Meditation is being proven to help with anxiety. Meditation is not affiliated with any religion.
Try tapping (a form of EMDR): www.tapping.com has video instructions, this is a simple physical technique coupled with re-writing mental messages
Watch funny movies with friends
Go for a walk or run on the beach
Play with a kitten, puppy or baby
Make a gift for someone special
Journal or draw
Lovemaking
Volunteer
Take a class
Make a list of the things you like to do that make you feel good, and then start doing them
Most important, talk to your doctor and make sure that there is not a physical cause for your anxious feelings.
Laara Israhel, LMFT is a licensed clinician and works with individuals, couples and families. She is a faith and mindfulness based practitioner working to help find balance between the body and the mind.
by [email protected] | May 27, 2016 | Resources, Teens
Contrary to the TV show Mash’s theme song, suicide is not painless. It cuts a wide swath of trauma, pain and a lifetime of grief in the lives of the victim’s family, friends, co-workers and the community. And there are no take backs.
Suicide, What to do? Keep the person safe
*If someone tells you they want to die or are thinking of killing themselves. Take them seriously. Stop what you are doing; nothing is more important than this person in this moment. ! Here are some questions which can be helpful to ask:
*Have you ever tried to commit suicide before?
*Has anyone in your family attempted suicide?
*Find out what are you thinking and planning.
*When are you thinking of executing the plan?
*Find out if they do have access to a lethal method for following through with a plan
*Call 9-11 or get them to the nearest emergency room as quickly as possible.
*Stay with them, do not leave them alone.
*Put away all leave lethal means. For example: Guns, knives, razor blades, household poisons, unlocked cars, prescription pain medications or sedatives, Tylenol or the generic form of Tylenol. And more, research on the web is extensive and helpful.
It is imperative to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. If someone is talking about suicide – it is serious. It may be for attention – it is because they NEED attention. If you can’t give it, get them to someone who can.
If you, or someone you love is contemplating suicide as a solution to life problems – please seek help.
If suicidal thoughts occur more when under the influence of drugs (prescribed or not) and/or alcohol seek substance abuse treatment. It can make a huge difference. I have seen it in many, many lives.
Teens and suicide:
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youths aged 15-24.
Young people attempt suicide at an alarmingly high rate: among 15-24 year olds, there is one suicide for every 100-200 attempts.
Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death among youths aged 5-14.
A youth suicide (aged 15-24) occurs every 100 minutes.
Young people can become emotionally distraught rather easily and thus are vulnerable to suicidal thoughts.
It is thus important for parents to try and pick up on any possible warning signs for suicide and to seek help for the suicidal youth as quickly as possible. (Please peruse the suicide warning signs page on this website to learn more about what to look for).
Listed below are a few of the problems that can potentially trigger suicidal thoughts in a young person:
- Death of a parent.
- Divorce of parents.
- Feeling like a “pawn” that is being used between feuding, divorced parents.
- Joining a new family with a step-parent and step-siblings.
- Breaking up with a boyfriend / girlfriend.
- Moving to a new community.
- Not feeling accepted by peers.
- Being ridiculed by classmates.
- Feeling misunderstood.
- Any experience perceived to be “humiliating.”
- Alcohol abuse.
- Drug abuse.
- Being bullied by classmates.
Note: Bullying is an extremely serious problem. Please click below for additonal information:
Where to reach out:
2-1-1
9-1-1
National Suicide Hotline – 24/7, live chat à 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Center à 800-273-8255
San Diego Crisis line à888-724-7240
www.suicide.org
Training to help more: www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org
To help educate your community about teen suicide and teen suicide prevention:
www.jasonfoundation.com
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.AFSP.org
If you are a survivor of suicide, there is help for you as well. AFSP and your local Crisis Center generally have support groups for suicide survivors. If you are unable to obtain help on your own, seek professional help.
by [email protected] | May 20, 2016 | Resources
ˈrēˌsôrs,rəˈsôrs/
noun
plural noun: resources
1. a stock or supply of money, materials, staff, and other assets that can be drawn on by a person or organization in order to function effectively.
ef•fec•tive•ly
əˈfektəvlē/
adverb
1. in such a manner as to achieve a desired result. “make sure that resources are used effectively”
If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. Lewis Carroll
Needing something and knowing what you need can be two very different things. In a book this phenomena is often called a mystery and we read it avidly and for entertainment. In a movie watching the tension and conflict our heroine or hero face can be both puzzling and interesting when part of the audience. But in day to day living and it is you, there can be times when it is neither particularly enthralling nor interesting. It can be downright confusing and frustrating.
Having resources is important, especially before you really need them.
I think of the ten essentials (From the Mountaineers) to keep in your backpack when you go for a hike – even a little dayhike and how these correlate to day to day living. Essential Systems
1. Navigation (map & compass) → Know where you are and where you are going Trust your gut, it is the best compass any of us have.
2. Sun protection (sunglasses & sunscreen) → Boundaries are important, protect yourself. Know when to say yes and when to say “NO”.
3. Insulation (extra clothing) → Protect yourself. Know how to take care of yourself in all settings, intimate, work and social settings. The winds can change even if the day starts out sunny. This isn’t being negative. It is just being realistic.
4. Illumination (headlamp/flashlight) → Think positively, no matter what you are experiencing, this too shall pass, even if sometimes we want to hold on to it forever or we want to have it disappear from sight.
5. First-aid supplies → Be prepared. What might you need when you are visiting with friends or family.
6. Fire (waterproof matches/lighter/candle)
7. Repair kit and tools →If something is broken, do you know what you need to do to fix it? If you don’t do you know someone that does, or a way to find that information.
8. Nutrition (extra food), what feeds your heart and soul? Is it art? Music, walks in nature, beach volleyball or the firing range. Knowing what your source is, is essential for well-being.
9. Hydration (extra water), Make sure your real thirsts are quenched. In today’s cyberworld everything comes at us so quickly it is hard to take a minute and determine what we really are needing. If we are craving something that may be a sign of avoidance, not need. When your real need is met (rest? Friends, a real meal, bill paying, fun, going to a museum… make your list of what really quenches your thirst. Carry it with you in special place in your pocket or wallet)
10. Emergency shelter (tent/plastic tube tent/garbage bag). Know that no matter what you will always have a place that is safe and warm. We all need to be loved.
Suicide: If someone tells you they want to die or are thinking of killing themselves. Take them seriously. Stop what you are doing, nothing is more important than this person in this moment. Find out what they are thinking and planning. Find out if they have access to following through with a plan and get them to the emergency room as soon as possible. Do not leave them alone and do not leave lethal means in easy access. As part of the ten essentials it is imperative to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. If someone is doing or saying it for attention – it is because they NEED attention. If you can’t give it, get them to someone who can.
